If I could go back in time, I would tell my pre-parent self a few words of support to give some perspective to a tired new mom.
I found out I was having twins at my first ultrasound when I was 7 weeks pregnant. The technician studied the screen on the ultrasound machine, then looked at me and asked, “Do twins run in your family?” I laughed – I thought she was kidding. No, twins do not run in my family or my husband’s. A total fluke I guess.
The ultrasound technician called my husband into the exam room and showed him the flicker of the first heartbeat and said, “Here’s the first heartbeat. And here’s the second.” My husband looked at me in confusion and all I could say was “Twins.” He almost fainted. Of course, once the news sunk in, we were super excited and couldn’t wait to eventually announce that we were expecting twins to our friends and family.
That was in 2018. I’ve been a twin mama for only two years so I still have a lot to learn and grow into. But the things I do know, I wish I could have told the 2018-me to save her from the battle with anxiety and overwhelm of a first-time-mom.
Here’s what I would say in encouragement to every tired new mom:
I would tell her that her body would heal and change with time,
And to stop worrying about weight loss.
That she would know how to care for her babies,
To just trust her instincts.
I would remind her to ask for help without apology,
That raising kids required a village,
That there was no such thing as being able to do it all,
But whatever she did accomplish in a day would be enough.
Above all else, to give herself grace,
To feel all the emotions,
To sit in her moments of rage and know it would pass,
To cry without shame,
To know this was just a season.
I would remind her that someday, the babies would sleep longer,
And would eat on their own,
That she would get time back to herself
To pursue her passions,
And have fun again.
If you’re a tired new mom or a first-time-mom, know that you’re not alone and that we mothers are bonded through a shared experience. Let these words bring you some encouragement and perspective that these days don’t last forever. They’ll be gone all too soon.
You may also be interested in my blog post on 8 Ways To Handle Mom Guilt By Practicing Self-Care.
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What reminder would you tell your pre-parent self? Let me know in the comments below.